Divine De/Re{Con}struction

Drawing of Reconstruction of the Sacred Spring

I have always had a love for Pélé, the Hawaiian Goddess of Fire and Volcanoes. Partly it is her expression as the fire elemental, and partly because, in order to create new land, she frequently pours lava through human-built structures. Some say she is destructive in this way. My observation is that humans have a tendency to block the path of divine creation. Intentionally? Unintentionally? For me it matters not. Nature will out. Gaia knows what she is doing. And, SHE knows what will most benefit the planet and her inhabitants. You know the SHE I mean. The Mother of Us All.

And then…. there are the ways that de/re-construction plays out in our lives.

Have you ever wondered when the cosmic joke will end? Perhaps one pattern in particular?

It all began with buying what is known as a ‘fixer-upper’, a small bungalow type home in the Berkeley hills. The re-build, which took the little house down to its foundation, studs, and a bit of really stubborn tar paper, took approximately twenty months, not counting the re-build of the garden, which sits on a 45 degree slope. That took years. My then-partner and I lived in the house during the re-build. I cannot recommend this. There is camping and there is “construction site”, and the differences are vast and sometimes overwhelming.

Once that life ended, there was a respite of sorts, during which time I relocated to the Sierra Nevada, to New Mexico, and then into the Sangre de Cristo range of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado. Nine moves altogether within 7 years. During this time, while moving house on a constant basis, there was no construction in my immediate vicinity.

My four-legged companion let me know that I was surfing realities. I was being shown different aspects of what I had thought I wanted, as part of the life I had left behind.

When I left the Sangres, it all began again. The (de/re)construction pattern. Was a new life being built? It seemed so. And yet, there were aspects of the old that still needed to shear off, calve away, and dissolve.

At the farm, in Europe, a roof needed repairs and a new flat was being built. A few new flats actually, in the out-buildings, but ‘one at a time’ as the saying goes. Days rang to the sound of new construction. Not exactly unexpected, but not the energy of my choosing… especially not the energy of the workers who lived on the property during the most intense construction period.

Hit pause for removal to yet another country. A brief, much-appreciated, respite at a lovely beach house while permits were acquired for the new build. Twelve months and two house hires later, the new build was deemed livable. Just. Again with construction-site camping and that ghostly feeling of “Didn’t I say I would never do this again?”

Moving into the as-yet-unfinished building was an exercise in patience and rural-amenities-on-the-side camping. The situation improved as the days rang to the sound of more construction. Walled gardens manifested. Amenities began to be somewhat more consistent.

Is it the amenities that come first? Which ones? In such a situation one quickly learns the difference between a ‘want’ and a ‘need’. SHE teaches us to choose and to do so wisely.

I left Mexico, scouting for what would be the next resonant energies. The energy of place changes and it has always been beneficial to me to find/follow that which truly supports me. {True support? A learning in progress.}

The friends’ house on the East Coast I visited is lovely. Proximity to the sea is wonderful. The house is undergoing repairs. Not fulltime but… in a constant state of adjustment.

I returned to Europe and, bien sûr, another annex building was being renovated. Days rang to the sound of new construction.

I visited Ireland, one of the true homes of my heart… blissful quiet among fellow hermits, yet a stopover nonetheless. At least for now.

I returned to the East Coast for a couple of months. I thought I would be rounding out the sussing adventure and a new place would rise up to meet me. They do tend to.

Not yet,” said SHE.

More repairs, and the beat goes on…though at noticeably less volume and frequency and orchestrated as carefully as possible by my loving friends.

So I made more travel arrangements.

I am on currently retreat in a remote location… and my days are ringing to the sound of… roadwork! New cable installation that will insure a constant supply of the electrical power needed for internet, among other amenities.

Is the whole world under construction? Does the globe ring to the sounds of bulldozers, excavators, grounds crews, leaf blowers and the like? This cycle, for me, has seemed endless. Search for the uplifted vortex of loving peaceful power that supports me, and then…more turbulence. More surfing. The way of things just now, I suppose.

And yet, when I outline it in this way, I clearly recognize the mirror for what has internally occurred.

A life being re-constructed in this body, rather than by being reborn into a new one. Demolition as needed. Peace and recalibration when required.

I have certainly seen and recognized this pattern as it has progressed. I have examined and processed and released. Was this latest a test? Perhaps of perception. Perhaps a mirror for the ancestral pattern releasing in the collective global unconscious at the moment.

“Any time now, Source,” she says, grinning as she hits the ‘patience’ button once again and mounts her board for yet another go.

And yet, when the babbling bumbling band {troop/congress} of baboons plundered through the back of the place this afternoon, it didn’t feel like an invasion. Not even when four of the youngsters leapt up onto the porch and started chasing one another. Not even when I scolded them for banging up against the glass. Certainly not when I watched the alpha female with a tiny baby clutched to her breast, stride across the property, finding a lookout perch where her infant could nurse.

What I felt was love. HER love.

And for the past two days there has also been peace. The excavator has moved on down the road, my viral symptoms have abated, and I can breathe once more. The zebras have returned, along with the antelope of various persuasions. Shy of overt disturbances, these creatures. They are an accurate thermostat for energy.

Resting in a short percolation period, before the next scouting of the waves, I find myself shaken, but not stirred.

I can’t wait to see how SHE sorts me out. Wouldn’t it be cool if the next energy vortex rose up to meet me? But then, it always does so. Something always shows up, especially when I remember not to ask for ‘the right thing’.

I am listening.

“Mother made me. I am SHE.” ~ Strands of Starlight, Gael Baudino

Waxing the board…
~ Namaste ~



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Nalini MacNab

I live, learn, write, create and share the experience of embodying HER Infinite Love. https://www.nalinimacnab.com