Member-only story
The 7 Second Path to Nirvana
A Cat’s view of Shelter in Place
Many of us are familiar with the path of liberation that leads through the realm of rotisserie chicken. It arrives home steaming, juicy and ready to gorge upon. Nothing to do with becoming your familiar, a concept with which we take issue(s). We do negotiated partnerships, at best.
Currently, the humans with whom I share a household, have {amazingly enough} understood my demands for re-defined service in the 7-second Way. Once a rotisserie chicken has been brought into the house, {every other day is a good timetable} it MUST be served instantly. Leg meat only, minced in a certain way for my {not to be mentioned} mostly toothless maw.
THEN we get to the gem, the 7 second rule. Once the chicken has cooled, and/or been put into the damnably cold thingie that humans put food into, {the dog calls it the food monolith}the leg meat must be pulled out, a perfect portion for the moment put onto a lovely china plate and…here it comes… microwaved for exactly 7 seconds. No more, no less. Other timings are patently unacceptable.
Now, one of the humans in my household uses the microwave thingie constantly, which is why I know what the humans call the magic warming box. The other human abhors its use, putting up with it strategically to get through what they call a quarantine and we felines call…